You never stop learning. Even as adults we are always learning, sometimes we know how to better avoid the snakebites, but sometimes they get us all the same. Each "bite" includes a lesson..
Sometimes people want your help and sometimes they don't. Don't get too caught up in other peoples drama, and don't insert yourself where you don't belong. You can't fix everyone, or everything. Accept that!! Some people ask for help but don't really want it. DON'T LET YOURSELF GET CAUGHT UP IN THEIR DRAMA - this has happened to me more than once, and I keep getting bit, haven't learned the lesson yet... *sigh*
When someone continues to ask your opinion, but doesn't really want it, they will give you signals over and over again that they DON'T want it. Here's an conversation to give you an example:
I'm going to do this________________, and then I'm going to do this_____________________. What do you think?
Well, I don't think you should do that and this is why, you are going to get hurt, you're actions are going to hurt someone else, it's dangerous, and it's a bad idea.
Response, yea..well, I don't know.
YEA, I DON'T KNOW??? - that is your signal they aren't listening, and don't really want to hear what you have to say.
If you are having conversations like this with anyone, they don't really want your input, your advise, your opinion, period. They aren't listening to you, and they are probably going to do the exact opposite of what you tell them. They are not looking for advise, they are looking for conversation. And usually you will find it's a conversation about them, that perpetuates their drama. If this is frustrating for you, leave the conversation. If you don't, chances are you are going to get snake bit. And don't get involved in their stuff. Don't put yourself in the middle of the action, even if you are just doing your best to help. This is a very bad idea. Trust me on this. Your help isn't wanted. When you keep telling someone something they really don't want to hear, that goes against their wishes (and their actions) they will eventually get tired of hearing it and strike back. If you drop yourself into the situation, they will strike back. Whether it's with actions or words, that bite stings. Usually that bite is that individual's way of saying "I keep asking you the same questions and I'm tired of your answers. You are not doing what I want you to do. GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"
BITE!!! ouch that stings. But if you don't listen, and keep going back, you'll get bit again and again until you get it. No relationship is worth that. Take the hint and acknowledge it for what it is, and walk away.
One Note: the bird in the photo above looks innocent, and unknowing of what's to come. In truth if you are in a potential snake bite situation, you usually know it. Do yourself a favor and fly away.
So it's time to put my money where my mouth is....or something like that.
Time for a lesson in C H A N G E...
Sometimes things have to break apart - stale things, stagnant things....boring things, things we've gotten used to, but don't know how to leave...for something good to come out of it. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it hurts, but once you get past that, opportunities present themselves and if you're looking for them, you can snag a pretty good one.
Here's what I'm talking about. I recently chose to leave an organization that had been a big part of my life for a long time. It had provided a lot of opportunities for me and my family. But it had stopped working for me. It just wasn't a good fit for us anymore. It literally didn't fit me, and was making me uncomfortable. Kind of like your favorite sweater that got shrunk in the dryer that's a little too short now, and scratches you under the arms now, you wish it still fit, but it doesn't. And there isn't anything you can do about it but give it to goodwill or your little sister or whatever, but it's got to go. To make room for something new - possibly something better. You've got to let it go....
When I left that organization, I was bummed. Really bummed. But the very next day, after thinking it over, I started talking to people. More importantly, I started LISTENING to people. People that had ideas for something new. Taking some guidance from a friend who made one single phone call, and after some discussion of weither or not it was a good fit (a NEW, cozy, JUST RIGHT sweater...) I was invited to join a new organization - one that fits me much better, one with more opportunity for my family and me. With a little room to grow even. So it worked out better than I thought it could have, but that first relationship had to break apart first, for the second one to present itself.
Has something like this ever happened to you? You felt uncomfortable, have grown out of something,scratching and pulling to try to make it keep fitting, and didn't know how to leave it? Been part of a relationship or a friendship then felt "pushed out" or left behind? When things like that happen you can see it as a good thing or a bad thing - when you see it as a good thing opportunites present themselves. When one presents itself, snag it, and see where it takes you.
Chances are, it's JUST RIGHT.
These Are My 5 Words...today.